paul and i finally got eddie izzard’s “dress to kill” DVD the other day.  we’ve watched some bits on youtube, but watching the entire show was a whole new experience.

it’s been decided to use a new calendar for the world.

january has 28 days.

february has 37 days.

march has 9 days.

april has 205 days.

there’s no may.

june lasts 2 hours.

except in the US, july has 3 days.

there’s no august.

nor september.

nor october.

nor november.

december has 5 days.

there’s no (the 13th month).

(the 27th month) has 7343295687 days, four hours, nine minutes and six seconds.

(the world’s longest one-day-per-page calendar)

by rahmens

also learn about japanese tradition:how to eat sushi. (true story)

hello businessmen in the world. it’s 8 pm (SMT = Saskatoon Meridian Time) sunday night. i’m sure you had an exquisite time away from your companies over the weekend. but time is ticking by. tomorrow is Monday. that’s right, it’s almost time to go back to work!!! we have less than 12 hours to prepare. are you ready? are you really ready?

with these exercise lessons for businessmen, not only will you be fully prepared, you’ll be guaranteed to successfully climb up the career ladder. put on your best suit and tie. let’s go!

(my translation from japanese):

- i’ll introduce to you some exercises that are very useful in various situations encountered by businessmen. using the latest in businessman engineering, let’s enjoy exercising! here are my assistants:

“ i’m kohjiroh yamamoto.”
“ i’m yoshihiro fujita.”
“ i’m michihiko kamakura. let’s enjoy exercising together.”

- the pianist is mr. satoshi ishibuchi. (wave)

lesson one: greetings

- the first exercise is fundamental for all businessmen: greetings. let’s begin with a basic greeting.
relax your shoulders and straighten your back. bend forward 30 degrees.

“someone’s coming from the right. oh, someone else is coming from the left.”

- the next exercise is how to greet your important clients. cross your hands lightly at the front. show your heart as you bow. it’s fine as long as you look like you’re bowing sincerely.

“oh, a client’s coming from behind! don’t be flurried. stay calm. just act quickly.”

- the next exercise is greeting your boss. let’s change the angle of your bowing depending on the boss’s title. let’s go!

“assistant manager, section manager, general manager.”
“30 degrees, 45 degrees and 90 degrees.”
“again, assistant manager, section manager, general manager. now, their titles get even higher!”

“managing director, executive director and president! you might as well roll over!”
“again, managing director, executive director and president! you hardly ever meet the president. it’s important to give him a good impression.”

- this is the last exercise. this is a greeting when you see someone you know at a distance. don’t pretend not to notice. let’s greet them!

“oh! you’ve noticed two people you know at a distance, simultaneously. choose one of them and bow. once in a while, you won’t be able to make eye contact. don’t worry, just bow. greeting is all you need to worry about.”

“ now you’ve noticed them and they’re even farther away. wave wildly and give a big phony smile. it’s pointless unless they notice you. the key point is to have the courage to overdo it.”

“ well then, do your best at work tomorrow.”